I’m not one to comment on the Manhattan dating scene since I’ve only been on a few dates in my seven months here. I am, however, definitely one to comment on the not-dating scene. Where I come from in Texas, it’s common to be married and have several children by your early twenties. I thought that’s what I wanted, but that probably stems from my adolescent cravings for fitting in. Continue reading “Single in the City”
Month: January 2016
Sobriety Advice from Gabby Bernstein
A few years ago - when I was still living in Waco, Texas - I stumbled upon a YouTube video of Gabrielle Bernstein a.k.a. The Spirit Junkie. The more videos she posted, the more I learned about her. Seeing that she went from party girl to spiritual guru gave me hope. I hoped for the courage to talk about my secrets with confidence in a way that Gabby spoke about her addictions and other issues she was working through. I knew that one day I would be sober like Gabby, and could have a blog like Gabby. Maybe I could even inspire people with my story and help others…..just like Gabby.
Sober in The Big Apple
In the Fall of 2014, I was living in The Woodlands, Texas and I gave up drinking for three months. It was relatively simple; I just chose other activities instead of going out. I soon got bored of sobriety and eventually went back to dating Jack Daniels.
Fast forward to Winter 2015, I’m living in New York City and I’ve committed to giving up booze for a full year. The first three weeks were great because sobriety was fun and new. Now, reality has set in and it’s pretty rough. I’ve been sober for seven weeks and I’m struggling. I’m struggling pretty damn bad, actually. Abstaining from alcohol is easy. I have no problem saying no to a drink or avoiding social gatherings centered around alcohol. The hard part is a newfound awareness of my true self. I feel like a teenager going through puberty. I’m emotional. I’m stressed out. I’m anxious. For 15 years, my subconscious sent me to drink and do drugs to suppress these feelings. Now these emotions are coming to fruition and it’s as if I’m feeling all of them for the first time. Sobriety wasn’t this hard when I did it last Fall in Texas. Continue reading “Sober in The Big Apple”
Manifest & Chill: Advice from Gabby Bernstein
I’m currently in the process of a spiritual cleansing. I’m removing things from my plate that no longer satisfy my appetite. This unintentional cleanse started on December 1st when my body, tired of waiting on permission from my mind, decided I needed to stop drinking. It showed up again last week when I realized music journalism was a hobby, not a passion. Now it’s encouraging me to be present to the moment instead of maniacally manifesting the next.
If you’ve met me, you know I’m obsessed with passionate about goal setting. I’ve probably asked you about what goals you’re currently working towards, if you’ve made a vision board, and how I can help. Continue reading “Manifest & Chill: Advice from Gabby Bernstein”
The Power of Letting Go
On June 13, 2015, I moved to New York City with one goal: become a writer for Rolling Stone magazine. This was a dream I had ever since I was a kid. Growing up, I would read Rolling Stone and see rock stars living the coolest lives I’d ever seen. I wanted to meet them and tell their story. I visualized the moment when Guns n Roses would reunite and Rolling Stone would assign me the cover story in the same way that William followed Stillwater in Almost Famous.
I read articles by Hunter S. Thompson, Cameron Crowe, David Fricke, and Pete Travers. I treated this like my homework. Actually, I treated this with more respect than my homework. Continue reading “The Power of Letting Go”
Interview on Men’s Shop Podcast
My good friend/host of Men’s Shop Podcast, Jamie McKinney, interviewed me this week. We chatted about SobrieTea and how it all began.
LISTEN HERE
“I was binge drinking 2-3 nights a week. I cut loved ones out, surrounding myself solely with people that were keeping me high”.
My Life as a Waco Bartender
When I was 17 years old, I was expelled from high school for nearly overdosing in class and having Xanax in my bag. I was sent to an alternative education program where I cleaned up my act and received my GED. Shortly after, I got a job as a hostess at Slo-Poke’s BBQ Sports Bar near Baylor. I thought getting a job would be beneficial for me to start over and meet new people. I made a commitment to myself and to my mom that I would stay clean. No more weed and no more pills. I had no idea how formative that job would be; it was the beginning of an unhealthy love affair with a dark scene in Waco, Texas. Continue reading “My Life as a Waco Bartender”
Pain, Shame, & Embarrassment
While digging through old Facebook photos from my party girl days, uncomfortable feelings arise. Pain, shame, and embarrassment grip me with the intensity that I used to grip a bottle of Jack Daniels.
The pain is triggering real emotion; emotion that I’m just now learning how to feel. This clarity is uncomfortable, filling my head with questions. Do I need rehab? Do I need therapy? Did he ever like me or were we just a hook up? Will I ever find a healthy relationship with alcohol or do I have to be sober forever? Do I really have a drinking problem or did I just love getting drunk? Yes, I’m still trying to convince myself that I will one day be able to drink again. Continue reading “Pain, Shame, & Embarrassment”