Tag: sober life

Why I’m Not an Alcoholic

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Hi. I’m Tawny. And I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not powerless over alcohol. I don’t have an incurable disease. I don’t subscribe to any of society’s blanket labels for people who choose to live a sober lifestyle. So if I’m not those things…what am I? Well, like I said. I’m Tawny. I’m powerFULL. I’m a writer who loves music and tattoos and boys and political discussions that ruffle feathers. I used to abuse substances to avoid dealing with reality. I was a party girl who danced on bars, driving (and living) recklessly. I didn’t think much about anything; I just did everything. At age 29, I realized that I wasn’t living up to my full potential. Alcohol was wasting my time and money. So, I’m Tawny…and I’m sober.

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When Sobriety Sucks

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Sobriety can suck. Like, really suck. To me, a life of sobriety has meant a lifestyle of being awake. All. The. Time. It’s fucking exhausting. I’m tired. Meditation and yoga help to an extent. Quality time with friends and family can be relaxing. Work outs release endorphins. But those solutions are all temporary. When I’m alone on the train ride home, alone in my bed, or alone with my thoughts, anxious feelings that I chose to momentarily ignore manage to get all of my attention. I’m beginning to think that life may be a series of temporary events to get me through to the next one.

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My Evolution from Drunk, Misinformed Voter to Sober, Empowered Voter

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Stoner Liberal to Binge Drinking Conservative to Sober Democrat

For nearly 15 years, I self-medicated my depression and anxiety with drugs and alcohol. While dealing with the narcissism of depression and the side effects of substance abuse, I was too self-absorbed to empathize with anyone’s problems that didn’t directly involve me. That included my family, friends, and especially politics. Now that I’m almost a year sober, my growth as a person has amplified my political awareness. I always kind of knew who I was politically, but I was easily swayed into other camps - just like I was easily swayed by any drug or drink that crossed my path.

[The full article is published on The Huffington Post. Read the full piece here.]

Copy Editor: Alisson Wood

Addiction to Personal Development

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I have an addictive personality. I don’t just like something…I LOOOOOVE something. And I want everyone to love it, too. I’ve been told that my excitement can come across as pushy, aggressive, and judgmental at times, so I’ve been working on scaling that back a bit. But to be completely honest, I’ve been “working on” a lot. From being more vulnerable to being less judgmental to communicating more clearly to improving my running pace to having a flatter stomach to writing more often to being a better listener to eating less sugar to blah blah blah. You get the idea. It’s f***ing exhausting and I don’t know how to give myself a break. Continue reading “Addiction to Personal Development” →

Contributor Piece: A Mother’s Battle with Addiction by Rose Lockinger

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The two greatest days of my life were the days that my children were born. Unfortunately, my disease cast a long shadow over those happy events. My disease knew no bounds; it didn’t care if it destroyed everything that I love.

At times, I believed that a mother’s love for her children would be enough; that it would keep me from tumbling over the edge of oblivion and into the chasm of addiction. Believing this lie kept feeding my guilt, forcing me further and further into the abyss. When everything inside me was screaming “Stop for your children!”, I couldn’t. I hated myself for this.

I pretended that I was superwoman. I thought I could do it all: work full time, go to school, take care of two small children, and keep a marriage that was doomed from the beginning. He and I were toxic together. His emotional and physical abuse had taken a toll on my ability to cope with life. Eventually even my love for my children was not enough to hold my addictions at bay. Continue reading “Contributor Piece: A Mother’s Battle with Addiction by Rose Lockinger” →

My Reflective Conversation with Mom

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This Mother’s Day, I decided to celebrate it in a unique way: by having my mom interview me. This all started when Mom mentioned that even though she reads my blog, she still has some questions about my issues with alcohol.

I’m an only child and she raised me as a single mom, so we developed a very tight bond. We are more like sisters than mother and daughter. From politics to religion to health to dating to sex, no topic has ever been off limits. She even bought me my first vibrator when I was in high school. She wanted me to know that despite what society projects, there is nothing wrong with female sexuality. She raised me in a progressive household, creating an interesting juxtaposition in a predominantly conservative community of Waco, Texas.

The following conversation took place on a drive from Waco to The Woodlands. We discussed addiction, feminism, homosexuality, Texas conservatives, and much more…

Mom: Do you think you’ll ever drink again?

SobrieTea Party: I would love to be able to have a beer, but one drink could lead me to internally justifying a night of partying with my friends. I don’t want to risk that.

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