Fuck new year’s resolutions. Yes I said it. This is the time of year when people often set audacious goals and “commit” to changing a significant part of their lifestyle. That’s cool and all, but I’ve rarely followed through with resolutions in the past. Then I’d beat myself up for not following through while dealing with even more feelings of guilt and shame and not enough-ness.
Tag: goals
Scare Your Soul - I Survived Wendy’s
Back in my fitness instructor days, my Instagram account proudly endorsed the #eatclean movement to the point of annoyance. I, like many other fitness professionals, thought that this hashtag would inspire people to make nutritious food choices. While it may have inspired some, I’m finally realizing that using phrases like “eat clean” could be down right insensitive and borderline damaging.
In case you missed my last post, I recently participated in Scare Your Soul, a challenge that encourages you to live outside of your comfort zone for 3 days. On day 1 & 2, I tackled my body image issues. I wanted day 3 to remain on the same body positivity path, but I was stumped as to how to go about it. My roomie / editor, Alisson, suggested that my third and final challenge should be eating processed foods for a day, every meal. I cringed and said “Nope. No way. There’s no way I can do that”. Then I realized that’s exactly what I needed to do. She encouraged me to do this because she thinks I’ve become a pretentious food snob (this is how we talk to each other, we’re very close) who only eats artisanal, organic, hipster foods. She suggested that maybe eating like I used to will remind me where I came from, and get me back in touch with my roots.
Feedback taken.
Challenge accepted. Let’s eat dirty.
Scare Your Soul - The Monster in the Mirror
I’ve always enjoyed testing boundaries, especially when drinking: Drunk driving. Unprotected sex. Sleeping with my friends’ ex boyfriends and my ex boyfriends’ friends. Any drug that crossed my path, I tried it. Anyone who said they could drink me under the table often ended up underneath said table. Since I’ve given up that destructive lifestyle, I’ve found new ways to be adventurous. While I’ve recently done activities like naked yoga and orgasmic meditation, there are still many things that intimidate me and make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I should say that there are a few things that, um, scare my soul.
Two weeks ago, I completed the Scare Your Soul challenge. Each day, I did one thing that got me out of my comfort zone…for three days. On day 1 & 2, I tackled my body image issues. Here’s how it went:
Continue reading “Scare Your Soul - The Monster in the Mirror”
Contributor Piece: Living with Trichotillomania by Becca Jade
There’s so much more to recover from than just substance abuse. Previously, Rose Lockinger has contributed personal essays about bulimia. Now, Becca Jade shares her story on recovering from trichotillomania:
Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder characterized by the compulsive urge to pull out one’s hair. This leads to hair loss, balding, distress, and social or functional impairment. People with this disorder know that they can do damage by acting on the impulses, but they cannot stop themselves. I strongly believe that in life, we are often faced with challenges that we can handle. At times, we might bend, but we will not break.
Continue reading “Contributor Piece: Living with Trichotillomania by Becca Jade”
What’s Your Why?
This morning, while chatting with one of my clients, she asked, “How do I cope with the guilt of setting myself up for failure by not following through with a set goal?”. I believe she was actually experiencing shame, not guilt. (My homegirl, Brene Brown has made a career out of identifying the difference between the two feelings). The goal my client was referring to was her participation in an online accountability group I started this month called #soberinjune. A few days into June, my client realized she was not in a place where she can take on this challenge.
I answered her question by asking a few of my own: “What’s your Why? Why did you initially decide to be sober for a month, and why did you change your mind?” This “ask why” advice can actually be applied to most aspects of goal setting.
Sobriety Advice from Gabby Bernstein
A few years ago - when I was still living in Waco, Texas - I stumbled upon a YouTube video of Gabrielle Bernstein a.k.a. The Spirit Junkie. The more videos she posted, the more I learned about her. Seeing that she went from party girl to spiritual guru gave me hope. I hoped for the courage to talk about my secrets with confidence in a way that Gabby spoke about her addictions and other issues she was working through. I knew that one day I would be sober like Gabby, and could have a blog like Gabby. Maybe I could even inspire people with my story and help others…..just like Gabby.
Sober in The Big Apple
In the Fall of 2014, I was living in The Woodlands, Texas and I gave up drinking for three months. It was relatively simple; I just chose other activities instead of going out. I soon got bored of sobriety and eventually went back to dating Jack Daniels.
Fast forward to Winter 2015, I’m living in New York City and I’ve committed to giving up booze for a full year. The first three weeks were great because sobriety was fun and new. Now, reality has set in and it’s pretty rough. I’ve been sober for seven weeks and I’m struggling. I’m struggling pretty damn bad, actually. Abstaining from alcohol is easy. I have no problem saying no to a drink or avoiding social gatherings centered around alcohol. The hard part is a newfound awareness of my true self. I feel like a teenager going through puberty. I’m emotional. I’m stressed out. I’m anxious. For 15 years, my subconscious sent me to drink and do drugs to suppress these feelings. Now these emotions are coming to fruition and it’s as if I’m feeling all of them for the first time. Sobriety wasn’t this hard when I did it last Fall in Texas. Continue reading “Sober in The Big Apple”
The Power of Letting Go
On June 13, 2015, I moved to New York City with one goal: become a writer for Rolling Stone magazine. This was a dream I had ever since I was a kid. Growing up, I would read Rolling Stone and see rock stars living the coolest lives I’d ever seen. I wanted to meet them and tell their story. I visualized the moment when Guns n Roses would reunite and Rolling Stone would assign me the cover story in the same way that William followed Stillwater in Almost Famous.
I read articles by Hunter S. Thompson, Cameron Crowe, David Fricke, and Pete Travers. I treated this like my homework. Actually, I treated this with more respect than my homework. Continue reading “The Power of Letting Go”
Visualizing 2016
New Year’s Eve was always one of my favorite holidays because getting hammered is encouraged. It was an excuse to dress up and throw down. People who didn’t celebrate the same way I did were “boring” and I avoided them at all costs.
As of today, January 1st, I have officially been sober for one month. Perhaps a month of clarity guided me towards a clean way to ring in the new year: creating a vision board.
When I told people what I was doing for New Year’s Eve, I got a lot of questions. I took these questions and put together a guide to show you what a vision board is and how you can make one, too. It’s not too late to create your own vision board for 2016! Continue reading “Visualizing 2016”