I’ve taken a step back to observe how two years of blogging has resulted in me finding my voice as a writer while simultaneously distracting me from writing. Listicles, branding, image, oh my!
At age 14 I wrote articles about progressive topics for my local newspaper, loving the fact that my voice was being heard. Even if it pissed people off. In high school I studied broadcast journalism, loving the prep work and screen time of being on the morning announcements. In my early twenties I “interned” (hung out unpaid) for a radio station, loving the platform to talk about music and current events with interesting people. I’m currently the music editor for NY Yoga & Life Magazine. I love chatting with musicians about their yoga practice, yogis about their playlists, and any other way the two worlds can intersect. I took a similar approach to sobriety: journalistic and explorative.
December 2015, I committed to giving up alcohol for one year to learn about my relationship with binge drinking. Since I’m a journalist, I decided to start a blog to document this social experiment in real time. The first blog post was basically just a short announcement discussing this latest project. I shared it on Facebook and was blown away by how well it was received. People reached out through direct messages and email thanking me for opening up about my drinking problem. I also created a separate social media presence (@sobrieteaparty) for this experiment. Within minutes of my first Instagram post and tweet, I received dozens of followers and comments from people in the #sober community.
The more I blogged, the more I learned that “making it as a blogger” is rarely about writing. In my experience a strong social media presence, professional photographs, hashtags, and networking often supersede quality writing. The theory is that people will see social media posts on Instagram or Twitter, they’ll head to the user’s main social media page to learn about the account, then they’ll click the link in the bio - ultimately sending traffic to the blog. That’s honestly how this blog got the majority of its subscribers.
I learned that blog posts and social media posts with a hi-res photo of me received significantly higher clicks, likes, and comments (which generate higher traffic to this blog). I hired friends that are professional photographers to follow me around the city. I’d frolic around Manhattan and sit in coffee shops with my laptop, posing for photos inspired by data analytics telling me what my followers wanted to see. It became less about the writing and more about the image. My recovery had developed a “brand”. I’m a writer.
Social media posts about politics or concerts or museum exhibits got 10-15 likes vs. plandids (planned candids) of me hailing a cab that got 100-200 likes. Followers didn’t want to see what I was interested in, they wanted to see me doing the things I was interested in. I got so preoccupied with managing a visual image that I frequently asked friends and family to take pics of me doing things while we were hanging out so I could post them on social media. I’m a writer.
I’ve been blogging sporadically throughout the duration of my sobriety. Sometimes once a week. Sometimes once a month. One post went viral which resulted in Huffington Post reaching out to me, asking if they could republish it. I’m not saying this to self-aggrandize. I’m bringing this up to shine a light on how this industry actually works.
On a good note, that year-long sobriety project turned into my actual lifestyle. I like being sober and writing about it. It’s given me clarity and consistency. It helped me deal with suppressed issues from my past. Based on emails and messages I’ve received, this blog has helped other people, too. I kept the blog going after the year “ended” because I still had more to explore and write about. Part of me was secretly hoping to have another blog post go viral and be seen by a literary agent who would reach out to me about a book deal (Yes, this really happens…just not to me….yet).
The last few months have had me wondering if I should ditch my @sobrieteaparty social media presence. Yes, I’ve actually spent months of my life stressing about social media accounts (#firstworldprobs). Managing a separate account for my sobriety started to bother me. Which account do I post on?!?! Is this post “on brand”?!?! Will I lose followers if I get political?!?! I felt one dimensional, yet split in two. I was preaching about authenticity while feeling overwhelmingly inauthentic. Sobriety is part of me, not separate from me. I decided that if I was stressing this much about fucking social media, then it was time to cut the cord.
I visualized the cover of my book. In this vision, the book was *obviously* written by Tawny Lara, not SobrieTea Party. In that moment I made the decision to stop posting on my “sober” social media accounts. It felt like a massive weight was removed from my privileged shoulders. I now find that stress to be almost laughable. The fact that I had the gall to think that my social media presence was sooooooo important that someone’s day would be ruined when they found out I quit tweeting/Instagramming from @sobrieteaparty. I’m a writer.
Although this behavior was often ridiculous, I regret none of it. It brought me here. Being sober online has been a form of accountability that I needed at the time. Many of my friends in New York City and across the world were made through that manic social media experience. The energy once spent on toggling back and forth between several Twitter and Instagram accounts is now spent on the expansion of my reading series, Readings on Recovery, and writing a book about getting sober online. This blog will continue to live on for the time being. I may not post as much since I have to be discerning in regards to what content would be best for the book. Because I’m a writer.
UPDATE: I’ve since decided to keep @sobrieteaparty as a way to keep people in the loop about events and things of that nature. Apparently I still have the gall to think that people care about these kinds of updates, too. 🙂
Photo Cred for Featured Photo: Beryl Fine
Copy Editor: Tracey Stubbs
2 replies on “A Writer, With a Blog”
Tawny, I am struggling with the same thing right now - I manage so many Instagram accounts these days. Many are for my clients and one is for my business, but two are mine personally - one is the blog and one is me before the blog. I can’t decide whether or not to marry them but I know I am getting closer and closer to feeling like two different people and I really just want to be one person. I just want to be me, and I honestly don’t know if I am “Quit Wining” anymore.
Thanks for this. I’ve been struggling with the “Real Robert” vs. my online prescence “Real Sobriety.” I’m a writer and film maker. Its is ironic - my wife’s literary agent thinks I am a very good writer, but I lack the online “platform” that attracts major publishers so he passed on my latest book proposal.