I’m here to spill the tea (the SobrieTea) on some common sobriety myths. One of the many reasons I avoided sobriety was because I thought that giving up booze automatically coincided with how society and the media portray a booze-free life. Turns out there are no pre-requisites for getting and staying sober other than the desire to stop using. My story is atypical AF. Here’s how:
Tag: substance abuse
Recovery Chat with Middle School Students
Sharing my recovery story to a group of 100 middle school students was a little intimidating. While I’ve done lots of public speaking on the topic of addiction, the audience has always been adults who were somewhat interested in sobriety or mental health. I worried that these kids would be bored by the 33-year-old woman telling them not to do drugs. I remembered being their age, bored as hell by D.A.R.E. and rolling my eyes at adults who told me to “Just Say No”. I thought about what 12 year old me would have wanted to hear; what would have made the idea of getting wasted sound like a bad idea even though celebrities glamorize it and post InstaStories of themselves popping champagne and Xanax while hitting a vape pen.
Continue reading “Recovery Chat with Middle School Students”
Relapse Happens
Let’s take a minute to talk about relapse and its role in recovery. It happens. A lot. Recovery is fucking hard. It’s nonlinear. Recovery (in relation to substance abuse) doesn’t necessarily mean sobriety or complete abstinence. At the end of the day, we are just humans who have been through some shit. We are looking for love, validation, encouragement, opportunity, and myriad other things. Continue reading “Relapse Happens”
Sober Dating Revelations
I’m dating for the first time in awhile. Actually, for the first time ever. When I was drinking, my idea of dating was getting wasted at parties, hooking up with someone, then when the hook ups happened more then once…I had a boyfriend. Sometimes the relationship was real. Sometimes it was delusional, existing solely in my head.
When “Trying on Sobriety” is Offensive
((This blog post was written for people that I call Sober Tourists: People that typically don’t identify as addicts or substance abusers, but are curious about being sober. They try it for awhile until they get bored. Then they claim that they can relate to the struggles of people in recovery because they celebrated Dry January or completed Whole 30.))
Strangers frequently reach out to me asking for suggestions on how to get through 30ish days without drinking. I don’t think they realize that my sobriety doesn’t have an end point. It’s fine that someone who probably doesn’t have issues with substance abuse, is “trying on sobriety” for a little while, but why are you asking me, someone who does struggle with substance abuse, for advice? I can’t be your cheerleader for 30 days just so you can celebrate day 31 by posting photos of mimosas on Instagram.
Why I’m Not an Alcoholic
Hi. I’m Tawny. And I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not powerless over alcohol. I don’t have an incurable disease. I don’t subscribe to any of society’s blanket labels for people who choose to live a sober lifestyle. So if I’m not those things…what am I? Well, like I said. I’m Tawny. I’m powerFULL. I’m a writer who loves music and tattoos and boys and political discussions that ruffle feathers. I used to abuse substances to avoid dealing with reality. I was a party girl who danced on bars, driving (and living) recklessly. I didn’t think much about anything; I just did everything. At age 29, I realized that I wasn’t living up to my full potential. Alcohol was wasting my time and money. So, I’m Tawny…and I’m sober.
Sober in the City: My Beach Vacation, No Beer Required
As much as I love New York City, I love getting away from it, too. A few weeks ago, I traded 30 degrees on the East Coast for 80 degrees in Mexico. I even set a sassy auto-reply for my email account: “Soaking up the sun and binge drinking virgin cocktails in Mexico.” And binge drink virgin cocktails, I did. I drank my weight in Mexican Coke and limonadas – no hangovers, no blackouts.
Click here to read the full article at WorkItHealth.com
Tawny Lara is the founder of SobrieTea Party. She writes about being sober in New York City and hosts sober socializing events.
I Heart Therapy
I started seeing a therapist in August 2016 when I was 9 months sober. I was prepared to be Goldilocks and shop around, looking for the therapist that was juuuuuust right. I lucked out and found “the one” on my first try; I’ve seen her every Wednesday ever since.
The first 9 months of my sobriety, or as I like to call it, BT (before therapy), I talked about what I was going through to anyone who was willing to listen. That was usually my therapy-advocating roommate. She listened to me, gave excellent advice, and found graciaous ways to sneak in the whole “you should see a therapist” message. I’d get annoyed, then after the 100th time, it finally sunk in. I realized that my neuroses weren’t so cute after all. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw circa season two of Sex and the City.
Sober in the City: I Followed My Fear and Found Myself
As I continue into my second year of sobriety, I decided to follow my passion of personal growth. I chopped my hair off, enrolled in Spanish classes and sketch writing classes, and even went on a couple of dates (that’s a pretty big deal for me, but more on that next time).
This week continued down the path of new experiences when I took my first improv class. I’ve flirted with the idea of improv for awhile now, but the thought of emitting that amount of vulnerability scared me to death. I used to hide my vulnerability by binge drinking a ton of whiskey, but this year, I’ve decided to face it head on. I found a class at The People’s Improv Theater called ‘Improv Your Public Speaking.’ I hesitated, but finally signed up for the February 13th class as a Galentine’s Day gift to myself.
Sober in the City: Bad Days Happen
Today was exhausting. I worked 8 hours on my feet at my retail job in SoHo. As much as I love people, it’s emotionally taxing to be “on” for 8 hours straight with a smile on my face. Towards the end of my shift, I was pretty grumpy. On my train ride home, my grumpiness continued when I realized the train had no seats left - like always. I had to stand for twenty more minutes, shoulder to shoulder with stinky strangers. I acknowledge that these are prime examples of first world problems. But as someone in recovery, the slightest thing can put me over the edge.
I stood there with my eyes closed, picturing myself taking a bath while drinking a glass of wine. This delusional thought was so relaxing, I may have even smiled. When the train slammed on its brakes to let me off at my stop, I was brought right back to reality: I. Can’t. Drink. Wine was never even my drink of choice, I was more of a Jack Daniels straight from the bottle kind of gal (#classy).