Sobriety Helped Me Embrace My Bisexuality
This past week was Bisexual Visibility Week. To celebrate, I wrote about sobriety and bisexuality for The Temper. Read an excerpt below. Click here to read the full essay.
I discovered my bisexuality at age 14, nearly two decades before I embraced the label. It began in a typical after-school moment. I sat on the couch eating Pizza Rolls while watching Carson Daly with his two black fingernails host TRL when there they were: Lenny Kravitz and Gina Gershon in his music video for “Again.”
She wore a silver, snakeskin backless halter top with dark-washed bootcut jeans and a studded belt. He also wore dark-washed bootcut jeans and changed shirts throughout scenes, always rocking his signature aviator shades — even indoors. He also gave us a controversial-for-the-year-2000 male booty shot. Seeing Kravitz and Gershon on-screen together made me feel excited, awakened. I yearned for everything they had to offer, their lips, hair, and smooth skin. I wanted to wear his sunglasses with her halter top while kissing them both. This was the first time I found myself simultaneously attracted to different genders.
Though my attractions met the definition of bisexuality, something in me never felt “bisexual enough” since all of my long-term relationships were with men. I used words like straight-ish, heteroflexible, fluid, and down-for-whatever to describe my sexual orientation. While some folks don’t think labels are necessary, I yearned for one that fit perfectly. I wanted to take pride in my sexuality by waving a flag with a color scheme that represents me. I craved a community of fellow bisexuals who understood me.
Click here to read the full essay.
Photos by Robert Riese Photography.
Tawny is an NYC-based writer, blogger, public speaker, podcaster who’s passionate about sex, sobriety, and rock n roll. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
Read Tawny’s published words in Playboy, Men’s Health, Huffington Post, The Temper, Audiofemme, and more. Tawny shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, and United Federation of Teachers.
In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series, her blog, SobrieTea Party™, and co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith. She’s also a charity volunteer with Road Recovery and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up.
