My New Normal as a New Yorker

None of us could have predicted what 2020 would turn into. Yet here we are, somehow getting used to our New Normal. Before the world seemingly imploded, I was like many New Yorkers: busy AF as a freelancer with a podcast and a blog and way too many social media accounts and a day job because health insurance and steady income. I rushed from my apartment to my day job to my co-working space to (sometimes) yoga then back home where 9 times out of 10 - I’d order take out…usually Thai food. The thought of cooking a meal after walking 5ish miles while running all over Manhattan or being on several crowded subway rides just didn’t appeal to me. Now that’s all changed. Every single part of it.

I’m part of the privileged group who still has income from my day job even though the retail world is closed right now. My days are now filled with activities I never had time for like cooking, exercising, reading, and teaching writing classes. Aside from my daily, hour-long walks, I’m inside our tiny Manhattan apartment for about 23 hours a day. Even though the weather is getting nicer and I’d love to relax in the park while reading a book, it’s not worth the risk. Nice weather means everyone has that same idea. Lots of folks in New York still aren’t wearing masks. So I stay inside. A lot. Actions that were part of daily life like touching elevator buttons or opening doors with my bare hands now feel life-threatening.

We don’t have a car or a garage or a backyard or many other conveniences that suburban folks have. I was fine forgoing those comforts to live in a bustling city like New York. I happily traded convenience for a different cultural experience. Now I find myself longing to go for a drive or soak up the sun in a backyard. It all seems so luxurious.

Here are some of the things that have become my New Normal. Some are a collective New Normal for everyone. Some are unique to New Yorkers. All are equally bizarre.

Gloves and Masks

While most folks have adopted masks and gloves, it’s a little different here in NYC. As soon as we leave our apartment, we are at risk. Those hour-long walks we go on are hour-long walks with a mask on. I have asthma, so it’s hard for me to breathe through fabric for that long. But it’s also hard for me to stay indoors all day. I now wear plastic gloves every time I go to the basement to do laundry or take out the trash. I don’t touch any elevator buttons with my bare hands anymore. Oh, and since banks are closed, my dad graciously sends me quarters so I can do laundry.

Cops with megaphone saying “put a mask on”

We live right by a park, so we hear a lot of noise. We usually hear loud music or kids playing in the park. Now we often hear cops shouting “put a mask on” amplified through a megaphone. Like I said earlier, lots of New Yorkers are not still not wearing masks. I’m don’t think I’ll get used to that megaphone announcement. It feels too dystopian to be part of my reality.

Grocery Store Anxiety

My podcast partner and I just released an episode about this very topic. Stores are one in one out, so my partner and I take turns buying groceries. I have to psych myself up for each visit. Like I said, we don’t have cars here so we have to bring our own shopping carts then walk them home. We also don’t have spacious grocery stores. We have markets. And they’re tiny AF. Everything puts me in a state of panic. The picked-over shelves. The sense of urgency and abundance with which everyone shops. The partition between the clerk and shopper at the cash register. Walking my cart full of groceries back home with sweaty palms and tense shoulders. I usually cry to myself on the walk home because my anxiety is so bad. I find myself walking fast, rushing to get home. Then I have to remember that I’m in no rush at all. Plus I need to stay 6-feet away from the other folks on the street. I’m feeling anxious just typing this. I truly dread going to the store.

Maxed Out IG Live and Zoom Schedules  

Y’all. I’m somewhat over it. So. Many. Screens. Everything moving online means that my social calendar is still somehow super full. I attend my friends’ online comedy shows, take writing classes, teach writing classes, FaceTime with loved ones. This article about Zoom Burnout perfectly sums up how I feel. However, it is nice to attend an event while wearing pajamas and not dealing with a stressful commute.

7pm Clapping

Every night at 7pm New Yorkers clap for essential workers. It began as a clap but has now evolved into one time of day where any form of loud noise is perfectly acceptable. We open our windows, stick our heads out, and cheer. My partner and I shake bells or blow through a french horn. Our dog even joins in sometimes! Some people bang pots and pans. But most importantly, we are all one between 7:00pm and 7:05pm. My partner is a restaurant manager who’s only home 2 nights a week. So when he’s at work, I cheer for him, hoping he and all of the essential workers make it home safely.

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My new normal consists of teaching weekly IG Live writing classes. Join me every Monday at 3EST over at @bigvisionnyc. Check out the schedule below to see the schedule for the rest of May.

Tawny is an NYC-based writer, blogger, public speaker, podcaster who’s passionate about smashing stigmas associated with both sexuality and sobriety. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Read Tawny’s published words in Playboy, Men’s Health, Huffington Post, The Temper, Audiofemme, and more. Tawny shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, and United Federation of Teachers.

In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series, her blog, SobrieTea Party™, and co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith. She’s also a charity volunteer with Road Recovery and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up.