Behind the Article: What It Was Like to Write About Sober Porn Stars
My first article for Men’s Health went live last week. It’s about sobriety, a topic that I’m obviously passionate about, but with a twist. If you know me personally, you know the topic of Sober Porn Stars is something I’ve been working on almost exclusively since last summer. Over the course of 6 months, I interviewed 10ish adult
What fascinated me the most about these peoples’ stories was how they’re just like anyone else who’s in recovery. Sure, there are nuances. Recovery stories are fascinating because no two are alike, yet they’re all exactly the same. All of the actors and actresses that I interviewed had one thing in common: they credit sobriety for their thriving careers. Despite popular rhetoric, you don’t have to be an addict or sexually abused or “fucked up” to thrive in the
In the writing world, “shouting information from the rooftops” is called writing an exposé. I pitched to several well-known publications only to hear crickets. I followed up (a lot) on said pitches only to see tumbleweeds accompanying the sound of crickets. Nobody wanted this story. Nobody. One big publication actually bought the story, then two different editors chopped it up in an attempt to turn it into a juicy tell-all of substance abuse in the porn industry. I pushed back. A lot. I told them that’s the opposite of the point in this story. My goal was to break stigmas associated with both substance and the porn industry. They ended up killing the piece after three months of back and forth edits and emails. Now I’m back to square one on that piece.
I decided to put the exposé on hold since most editors weren’t grasping the concept. All of these interviews resulted in me sitting on tons of content. So I broke the stories up to tell them in different ways. The first was this compilation called Sober Porn Stars Share Their Best Recovery Advice for The Temper. I’ve published several pieces with The Temper and have a solid relationship with their editor, Irina Gonzalez. She didn’t challenge my angle to make it more sensational. She let me tell their story through their words. I truly appreciate that.
Next, I wrote a profile on Seth Gamble, the actor I spent the most time with. I interviewed him three separate times - twice on the phone and once in his Santa Monica apartment. I thought his story was important to tell because he’s the biggest name in porn and he’s sober. He’s consistently sweeping the AVNs and XBIZ Awards (think The Oscars and Golden Globes…but porn). I pitched this story to several sites then had a similar experience….crickets. The silence spoke loudly: nobody wanted to publish the story of a porn star who’s happy and healthy. I’m so grateful that a site like Men’s Health (and their amazing editor, Jordyn Taylor) proudly published the profile!
I received some pushback once these two sites published the stories. I lost followers on Instagram. People commented on my post, telling me how horrible I am for celebrating “an industry that abuses women”. This reaction reminded me of how important it is to tell these stories. It’s possible to choose sex work, have agency over your body, and be completely sober and thriving. I have the stories to prove it.
Tawny is an NYC-based writer, public speaker, and event producer who’s passionate about smashing stigmas associated with both sexuality and sobriety. Ruby Warrington dubbed Tawny “The Sober Sexpert”. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
Read Tawny’s published words in Playboy, Men’s Health, Huffington Post, The Temper, Audiofemme, SheSaid, Recovery Campus, WorkIt Health, and NY Yoga & Life Magazine. Tawny shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, United Federation of Teachers, and more.
In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series and SobrieTea Party™ and co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith. She’s also a charity volunteer with Road Recovery and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up.