This past week I spoke on Monument‘s panel, Changing the Narrative, at Brooklyn’s sober bar, Getaway. I talked about recovery, creativity, and of course, my favorite topic of sober sex and dating. This evening had a dual purpose of creating a powerful conversation about addiction and recovery while also serving as Monument’s debut event as a new face in the vastly growing on-line recovery world. More than 30 people of all different ages were talking about recovery while smiling, laughing, selfie-ing, and sipping non-alcoholic drinks.
Having this topical conversation among a packed crowd at a sober bar is very 2020 and very New York. I’ve been a New Yorker for almost five years now. I’ve seen movements/conversations/fashion start here, then work their way toward the suburbs and middle America. The honest conversation that took place last Thursday is a conversation that I’d love to see happen across the country on a regular basis.
Mike Russell, the founder of Monument and one of my fellow panelists, shared his personal redemption story that led him to create an online platform aimed to help other folks in recovery with a medical approach.
“”Monument is for those looking to change their relationship with alcohol through research-based treatment. Whether you’re looking to moderate or quit drinking altogether, we want to help you achieve your goals. Our online treatment plans include a combination of video therapy, physician-prescribed medication, and community, personalized to you. Plans are currently available in New York, and our community is available everywhere.” - joinmonument.com
What resonated with me about Monument’s evidence-based approach was the lack of emphasis on counting days. Instead, they suggest that members count the positive things that they’re able to do with the time and money they saved from no longer drinking. For example, making it to 3 yoga classes a week, or picking up extra shifts to save for a vacation instead of being hyperfocused on X days sober. When this topic came to light during the panel, the room was buzzing with energy. People shared their hobbies and creative endeavors that were able to flourish once they cut back on drinking or got sober entirely. I shared how many articles I’d published since I got sober. Counting something tangible that we have control over can have a profound impact on folks in recovery - especially folks in early recovery that struggle with stringing collective days together.
Another great topic of conversation started with filling out cards that Monument placed throughout the bar. The cards read “Drinking less has given me more _____”. This was a great ice breaker for folks to share with one another before the panel began. At the end of the event, Amanda, the moderator, read some of the answers aloud. My answer (shown below with my purple lipstick and a Hairless Dog IPA) was that drinking less has given me more headspace. Sobriety has helped me de-clutter my mind and focus on the things that truly matter in my life.
The digital sobriety world has changed quite a bit since I started this blog in 2015. So has the IRL sobriety world. In my early sobriety, just 4 years ago, I was desperate to find recovery options that weren’t the traditional 12-step model. The thought of socializing in a sober bar or joining an online, evidence-based treatment program would have never even crossed my mind. Now, I was able to learn about a new recovery program while sipping mocktails amongst sober and sober curious New Yorkers. Who knows what’s next for the sobriety world, but I’ll take it one day at a time while enjoying what today’s sobriety world has to offer.
Interested in learning more? Reach out to Mike at [email protected], follow on Instagram, or read more about why Mike started this program.
*This post was sponsored by Monument*
The featured photo was taken by Sierra Rebecca
Tawny is an NYC-based writer, public speaker, and event producer who’s passionate about smashing stigmas associated with both sexuality and sobriety. She’s recently been dubbed “The Sober Sexpert” by Ruby Warrington.
Tawny’s words have been published in Playboy, Huffington Post, The Temper, XOJane, Audiofemme, SheSaid, Recovery Campus, WorkIt Health, and NY Yoga & Life Magazine. Tawny has shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, United Federation of Teachers, and more.
In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series and SobrieTea Party™, co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith, a charity volunteer with Road Recovery, and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up.