Common Sobriety Myths

I’m here to spill the tea (the SobrieTea) on some common sobriety myths. One of the many reasons I avoided sobriety was because I thought that giving up booze automatically coincided with how society and the media portray a booze-free life. Turns out there are no pre-requisites for getting and staying sober other than the desire to stop using. My story is atypical AF. Here’s how:

AA Isn’t Part of My Sobriety

I’ve been to a few meetings but nothing clicked for me. However, I did meet my partner at an AA meeting so you can say I got what I needed out of The Program. I recognize that AA works for many folks and that’s truly incredible. I’m vocal about the fact that I took a different route to let people know that there are myriad ways to be in recovery. My “program” has been yoga, writing, weekly therapy, and non-traditional support groups. Some other options are SMART Recovery, Tempest Sobriety School, LGBTteetotaler.

I Don’t Identify as an Alcoholic

The word “addict” is all-encompassing of all of my self-destructive behaviors. Whether it’s booze, drugs, sex, shopping, work, or social media, I’ll find ways to abuse it. Before getting sober, I had no idea there was a nuance to sobriety. I assumed it was another binary scale like most societal structures, meaning people either drink and have a good time or they’re alcoholics who go to AA. Use the words that work for you. Don’t feel like you need to conform to any sort of label that feels uncomfortable. Jolene Park has an excellent TED Talk on this very topic.

I Never Had a ‘Rock Bottom’

On November 30th, 2015 I woke up and decided to quit drinking for a week. That turned into two weeks which turned into a month which turned into committing to spending my 30th year on this planet without booze or drugs and documenting the experience on SobrieTeaParty.com (@sobrieteaparty). That turned into a podcast, an event series, (Readings on Recovery), a new term (#altsober), freelance writing gigs, writing a memoir, and now 3 years and 8 months of sobriety. Despite what film and TV tells you about addiction, you don’t have to lose everything to realize you want to make a change.

Sobriety Taught Me About Sex Addiction

If I never quit drinking, I may have never learned about my sex addiction. I assumed that sex addiction meant compulsively banging people. It can, but that’s just one part of it. For me, it means having an unhealthy relationship with sex. Most of my sex life has been spent with my identity tied the validation of the male gaze. Support groups, therapy, and my amazing partner have helped me realize that I’m deserving of love. I’m now confident in the fact that I have significantly more to offer than just sex. I’m a sex addict who wants to share my experience through writing and teach folks the nuances of our world. Read some of my sex-positive articles on Playboy and SheSaid.

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How is your recovery story unique?

Are you #altsober?

Comment below!👇🏽

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Tawny Lara is an NYC-based writer, public speaker, entrepreneur, and event producer. Her words have been published in Playboy, Huffington Post, SheSaid, Recovery Campus, and NY Yoga & Life Magazine. She is currently seeking representation for her memoir that turns her blog, SobrieTeaParty.com, into a reflective collection of essays. Tawny has shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, United Federation of Teachers, and more.

In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series and SobrieTea Party™, co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith, charity volunteer with Road Recovery, and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up. When she’s not working on all of the things, she’s doing yoga or eating tacos – sometimes simultaneously.

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