Sharing my recovery story to a group of 100 middle school students was a little intimidating. While I’ve done lots of public speaking on the topic of addiction, the audience has always been adults who were somewhat interested in sobriety or mental health. I worried that these kids would be bored by the 33-year-old woman telling them not to do drugs. I remembered being their age, bored as hell by D.A.R.E. and rolling my eyes at adults who told me to “Just Say No”. I thought about what 12 year old me would have wanted to hear; what would have made the idea of getting wasted sound like a bad idea even though celebrities glamorize it and post InstaStories of themselves popping champagne and Xanax while hitting a vape pen.
I realized that 12 year old me wanted an open forum. A safe space to ask all of the drug and alcohol-related questions that I was afraid to ask my parents or teachers. So that’s what I created. I told them about how I got expelled from high school due to a near overdose, continued to use until I got sober at age 29. I told them that at any point during my talk, that they could raise their hands and ask questions. Immediately, a dozen hands went up and a 55 minute Q&A session had begun. Here are a few questions that stood out to me:
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Where did you buy drugs?
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What happened to your drug dealers?
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If you knew drugs and alcohol were bad for you, why did you use them?
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Can you die from drugs?
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Why didn’t you ask for help?
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Whats depression and anxiety?
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How did you make sober friends?
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What do you do when people try to get you to do drugs?
I wanted to end this Q&A on a positive note. But I had to get a little dark first. I shared with the kids that when I was 14 years old, I was writing for the local newspaper and fell in love with broadcast journalism via the morning school announcements. Everything was going pretty well, things were headed in a solid direction – then I experienced a traumatic family event. I didn’t go into detail, but I shared that this experience took away my joy, passion, and creativity for a very long time. I began acting out sexually before finding drugs and alcohol. I stressed the fact that I wish I had taken therapy seriously, wishing I had the courage to ask my mom for help. I found solace in the instant gratification of drugs and alcohol. I stopped writing for the local newspaper and eventually blew off broadcast journalism. Within a year, I was getting high every day as a way to avoid reality – ultimately resulting in expulsion.
I let the kids know that as soon as I got sober, nearly 13 years later, my passion for writing and reporting returned and that leaning into my creativity has been inextricably linked to my recovery ever since. I let them know that my mental health is in the best shape of my life since I’ve been seeing a therapist for nearly three years. The type of peer support that Road Recovery offers has been monumental for me and lots of other folks through the 21 years that the non-profit has been around.
Then I turned the focus back to them. I passed around the mic, asking them to say their name and tell us what they create. Here are a few of their responses:
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I make instructional videos on YouTube for my friends!
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I love anime!
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I paint!
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I like to write in my journal!
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I write poems and rap and my music is on SoundCloud!
I encouraged them to lean into their creative outlets. I also let them know that if they don’t have a creative outlet, that’s OK. They each have something or someone in their lives that is worth staying present for.
This experience was possible because of the folks at Road Recovery, the incredible non-profit where I volunteer and mentor. Our house band, Type II, performed live for more than 800 kids from different schools all over New York City. Road Recovery and the United Federation of Teachers collaborated to bring the kids a once in a lifetime Let’s Talk About it Conference that mixed live music (all original songs!) with shared personal recovery stories in efforts to show the kids what young people in recovery look like. Once the assembly ended, the Road Recovery team split up into individual groups to share our unique recovery stories with the kids.
Road Recovery has been a consistent part of my recovery journey for a year and a half. It’s a place where I’m able to fuse two of my passions: music and recovery. When I got expelled from high school, the thought of sobriety was far from my mind. It stayed far from my mind until just before my 30th birthday. I never thought that horrible experience would have a positive side.
Sharing that story in a realistic way helped me connect to a room of 100 kids. It gave me the resources to answer their questions. The questions they asked opened my eyes to how desperately public schools need realistic drug education - and that the education needs to be dialogue-based. Nobody wants to feel talked at. As humans, we want conversations with other humans. We all want to feel heard, especially kids.
Tawny Lara is an NYC-based writer, public speaker, entrepreneur, and event producer. Her words have been published in Playboy, Huffington Post, SheSaid, Recovery Campus, and NY Yoga & Life Magazine. She is currently seeking representation for her memoir that turns her blog, SobrieTeaParty.com, into a reflective collection of essays. Tawny has shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, United Federation of Teachers, and more.
In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series and SobrieTea Party™, co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith, charity volunteer with Road Recovery, and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up. When she’s not working on all of the things, she’s doing yoga or eating tacos - sometimes simultaneously.
1 reply on “Recovery Chat with Middle School Students”
This is absolutely wonderful!!