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Destination Addiction

My addiction to personal development started small, just like my issues with substance abuse. I didn’t think getting stoned on the weekends in high school would turn into a 13-year lifestyle of binge drinking and excess. In the same vein, I didn’t think that reading self-help books would lead to a three-year downward spiral of searching for “the best possible version of myself.”

Vision and goal setting was my gateway drug to the world of personal development. I was working for a retail company that focused heavily on the importance of writing down goals. It was actually part of our job to maintain an updated list of goals we were working toward. I was still drinking at the time. One of the first goals I wrote down was “Have a healthy relationship with alcohol.” At one point, all the employees were given a copy of Matthew Kelly’s The Rhythm of Life. I read it quickly, highlighting the talking points I was eager to discuss with co-workers.

“I was instantly hooked on finding what was wrong with me and then changing it.”

That book changed my life — but not necessarily in a good way. Kelly often referred to “the best possible version of yourself” throughout the book. What a lovely thought. I’d like to be the best version of me. That mentality, paired with my addictive personality, was toxic. I was instantly hooked on finding what was wrong with me and then changing it.

It’s nothing against Kelly or his book. There are tons of people out there who can read a self-help book, have a few moments of clarity and then go about their lives. I couldn’t do that. I read to change myself with the same tenacity that I drank to get drunk.

Click here to read the full article on RecoveryCampus.com.


Photo Credit: Diego Lopez


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By Tawny

Tawny is an NYC-based writer, public speaker, and event producer who’s passionate about smashing stigmas associated with both sexuality and sobriety. She’s recently been dubbed “The Sober Sexpert” by Ruby Warrington.

Tawny’s words have been published in Playboy, Huffington Post, The Temper, XOJane, Audiofemme, SheSaid, Recovery Campus, WorkIt Health, and NY Yoga & Life Magazine. Tawny has shared her recovery story on stages all across the world: IOGT World Congress, New York State Recovery Conference, United Federation of Teachers, and more.

In addition to writing and public speaking, she’s the founder of the Readings on Recovery™ reading series and SobrieTea Party™, co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast with Lisa Smith, charity volunteer with Road Recovery, and an award-winning filmmaker of the recovery documentary, Fixed Up. When she’s not working on all of the things, she’s doing yoga or eating tacos - sometimes simultaneously.

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