Tawny Lara Sober Dating in New York

Sober Dating Revelations

I’m dating for the first time in awhile. Actually, for the first time ever. When I was drinking, my idea of dating was getting wasted at parties, hooking up with someone, then when the hook ups happened more then once…I had a boyfriend. Sometimes the relationship was real. Sometimes it was delusional, existing solely in my head.

Sobriety has helped me figure out who I am by figuring out who I’m not…

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Sober in New York Sober Tourist

When “Trying on Sobriety” is Offensive

((This blog post was written for people that I call Sober Tourists: People that typically don’t identify as addicts or substance abusers, but are curious about being sober. They try it for awhile until they get bored. Then they claim that they can relate to the struggles of people in recovery because they celebrated Dry January or completed Whole 30.))

Strangers frequently reach out to me asking for suggestions on how to get through 30ish days without drinking. I don’t think they realize that my sobriety doesn’t have an end point. It’s fine that someone who probably doesn’t have issues with substance abuse, is “trying on sobriety” for a little while, but why are you asking me, someone who does struggle with substance abuse, for advice? I can’t be your cheerleader for 30 days just so you can celebrate day 31 by posting photos of mimosas on Instagram.

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Why I’m Not an Alcoholic

Hi. I’m Tawny. And I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not powerless over alcohol. I don’t have an incurable disease. I don’t subscribe to any of society’s blanket labels for people who choose to live a sober lifestyle. So if I’m not those things…what am I? Well, like I said. I’m Tawny. I’m powerFULL. I’m a writer. I love music and tattoos and boys and political discussions that ruffle feathers. I used to abuse substances to avoid dealing with reality. I was a party girl who danced on bars, driving (and living) recklessly. I didn’t think much about anything; I just did everything. At age 29, I realized that I wasn’t living up to my full potential. Alcohol was wasting my time and money. So, I’m Tawny…and I’m sober.

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Sober in the City: KITH Treats Cereal Bar in NoHo

New York City may be one of the craziest cities in the world, but it’s also full of sober-friendly activities. This week I got to check out a cereal bar meets sneaker store meets fashion hub meets Nike museum. Yes, in NYC, all of these things can exist under one roof. At the Kith x Nike collaboration in NoHo (Broadway & Bleecker), you can check out some vintage sneakers, buy custom Nikes or high-end fashion pieces, and…eat cereal! Several different types of cereal are served in three different ways: bowl, milkshake, or ice cream. There’s also an assortment of milk options.

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Notes to Self

Over the last few months, I’ve compiled a list of “notes to self” in my phone while sitting on the subway. I wrote these reminders for my own sanity. They help me calm down when I feel a spiral of self-loathing coming on. This list isn’t always pretty, but it’s grounded in a reality that I’ve learned to accept. Call them mantras. Call them affirmations. Call them maybe.

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500 Days of Sober

I’ve been sober for 500 days, y’all! It feels surreal sometimes. There are moments when I still feel like that 20-something party girl who was dancing on bars and taking body shots off of strangers. I have moments where I ask myself, “Am I really a sober blogger?!?!”. Yes I am! And I fucking love it. While recovery has its ups and downs, I’m grateful for it every single day. These 500 days have been full of happiness, heartbreak, anger, new adventures, and personal growth. Here’s 5 of my recent favorites memories in my first 500 Days of Sobriety:

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Sober in the City: My Beach Vacation, No Beer Required

As much as I love New York City, I love getting away from it, too. A few weeks ago, I traded 30 degrees on the East Coast for 80 degrees in Mexico. I even set a sassy auto-reply for my email account: “Soaking up the sun and binge drinking virgin cocktails in Mexico.” And binge drink virgin cocktails, I did. I drank my weight in Mexican Coke and limonadas – no hangovers, no blackouts.

Click here to read the full article at WorkItHealth.com


 Tawny Lara is the founder of SobrieTea Party. She writes about being sober in New York City and hosts sober socializing events.


Booze Free Activities in Jersey City

(This blog post originally appeared on Growing in Jersey City)

I used to drink a lot. Like…a lot. I’d spend so much money on alcohol and have nothing to show for it other than a hangover, random bruises, cringe-worthy Facebook photos, and way too many transactions being posted in my bank account. Since I’ve stopped drinking a little over a year ago, I’ve found a few ways to have fun here in Jersey City without booze:

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7 Lies I Told Myself (So I Could Keep Drinking)

When I was struggling with admitting the truth about my drinking problem, I spent a lot of time in a magical place called Denial. It was a diverse, overpopulated place filled with delusion, ignorance, and fear. I didn’t just camp out there, I moved in. I paid rent. I unpacked. I decorated. Living years in denial was expensive. Financially. Emotionally. Mentally. And physically. I lied to myself daily. I told myself that I was fine. I told myself that I was happy. The thought of addressing my drinking problem, giving up alcohol, and living a life without booze sounded next to impossible.

I didn’t know anyone who was sober. All I knew about sobriety was what I saw on TV or in movies: someone who’s lost everything and they have to go to AA to rebuild their lives. I told myself that I wasn’t one of “those” people. It was nice to pretend that everything was fine and that I had a healthy relationship with alcohol. That was a big fat lie. Here’s a few other lies I told myself so I could keep drinking…

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